Soothing touch, flow and the dentist: Interrupting avoidance and anxiety
Soothing touch, flow and the dentist
Interrupting avoidance and anxiety
I’m not the biggest fan of visiting the dentist. Those who are dentists are amazing, but the experience of visiting the dentist for me is not one I look forward to. In fact, it triggers a lot of not so good things in me – resistance, avoidance, procrastination, tightening of my jaw muscles, a lot less smiling, and anxiety.
So, after 12 months of resisting some major work I needed to have done, I prepared myself to just get it done. What happened for me on this journey? Well number one was that I had to tune into my thoughts and my responses and embrace them as a personal development lesson. Here’s my findings:
1. Communication is key. Instead of hiding from the dentist I spoke with her about what I was feeling. Ah, so simple, but so powerful. Silence and expressing tension through the body were obvious signs of anxiety to her, but she needed me to mention it first in order for us to both have an in-depth conversation. It was a powerful talk, honest, raw and embracing of mutual respect that assisted greatly in forming trust in the process of looking after my dental hygiene needs. I automatically became relaxed, more myself, with a few giggles throughout the conversation.
2. Know your body. As a woman there are certain times of the month that I feel pain more. I’m a bit more sensitive emotionally as well. So, my next tip is know your body and the patterns emotionally and physically for how you respond to change, tension and times of a day, week, month, year (in whatever form that maybe). I identified times that would be better for me to have a dentist appointment where I could maintain my most strongest of Zen.
3. Mindfulness. Yep, you know I am a fan. I have a daily formal and informal practice with the connection to breath is what helps me be present, non-judgementally. This awareness allows me to step back and observe what is happening. What I found was that my mindfulness practice enabled me to notice my past behaviour and changing behaviour towards visiting the dentist more gently without being critical on myself for dropping the ball in regard to regular visits and check-ups or for being unbearable in the dental lounge. I also was able to develop a practice where I could arrive to my appointment slightly early, and just be with the space. To sit quietly, breath and feel grounded. To slow down my breath and to just notice what was occurring for me…to label a thought or feeling that was emerging in my thinking.
4. Soothing touch. When I lean back in the dental lounge, I have usually clasped my hands together. I’ve thought this way relaxing, but actually not long into the appointment I am squeezing my hands so tight that I am showing what they call “white knuckles”. I’m tense. I’m not relaxed. My breathing accelerates. And well I’m not sure I would be the best client to have to work on. What I did this visit was integrate my work on self-compassion and especially the element of soothing touch. Ever so slightly I allowed my thumb to slightly move back and forth over my other hand in a calming manner. Touch became a gentle warming gesture to reinforce treating myself like a friend. In this way I was allowing touch to sooth myself, and to remind myself that it will be ok, and that I can do this. It is the act of touch in this way that activates the care system and the parasympathetic nervous system in order to help us calm down and feel safe.
5. Explore the power of your noise cancelling earphones and an audiobook. I’m a huge fan of podcasts and audiobooks. They have become a significant part of my daily self-care routine. I had never thought of wearing my earphones while at the dentist but with permission I tried this strategy this week (thanks Claire for your ace suggestion) and wow what a difference. With permission from my dentist I set myself up with an audio book I have been loving at the moment on a topic that I am really engaged with. I opened my mouth, closed my eyes, and deeply engaged with the book’s contents. Four chapters later the dentist was finished (my visit to the dentist this time involved getting a crown so was in the chair for just over an hour!!!). Unexpectedly the time felt like I was in flow, totally absorbed and engaged with my book (for anyone interested I highly recommend Essentialism by Greg McKeown). The hour didn’t feel like the hour. And as I was engaged in the content my breath slowed down and with the shooting touch practice, I was able to maintain my feel of being grounded.
I’m interested to hear how you have transferred your everyday self-care routines across practices and situations. Tell me more, I’d love to hear from you.
You might like to read more here:
BREATHING FOR TRANSITIONS: MINDFUL STRATEGY TO BRING YOU BACK IN FOCUS
HOW TO MAKE SMALL CHOICES WELL
MY SELF-CARE PACKAGE TO HELP WITH JUGGLING TO MANY BALLS IN THE AIR
MINDFUL CONNECTION TO THE EVERYDAY
What I am listening to at the moment:
Essentialism by Greg McKeown
Extra resources:
Kristen Neff and supportive touch.