Photo by Syuhei Inoue on Unsplash — **Morning Routines:**

**What’s the first conversation you are going to have with yourself each day?**

Roll over in bed and reach for your phone, take it off the charger and look at email or social media

Sit down at your desk and check your email

Brush your teeth, wash your face, walk, then meditate

Jump in the car and listen to a podcast to offer perspective or stimulate ideas

Journal new words or free thinking

Jump out of bed and do your equivalent of moving (run, walk, cycle, exercise class or stretch)

Connect to your body and mind with a meditation

Set yourself up with a loving kindness meditation

Breakfast with yourself and not your phone/laptop/iPad

Cuddle your loved ones and listen deeply

Listen to your favourite tunes

Have a shower and let the water run over your head and body

Plan your day out

There are so many ways we can start the day. What also comes with your choice of action or routine (or lack of routine for some of us) in the morning is a conversation with self. You know that conversation…it might include words such as:

Today I am going to…

My intention for today is…

The focus of today is…

My personal goal for today is…

I’m looking forward to …

I can’t wait for….

I get to…

I wish I had…

I should not have…

Tomorrow I’m going to start….

I’m so tired, I’ll start tomorrow by….

The morning routine is essential for us to both set the day up but to also support us to be able to do what we have to do during the day. Routines allow us to automate basic elements of daily life. And with this comes the opportunity to conserve energy to dedicate toward achieving intentions or goals during the day. The morning routine provides an anchor, if you like, around you (and others in your life/household/worklife) that can structure the rest of the day.

Shawn T. McClean and his colleagues out of the USA found that missing a morning routine left individuals feeling disrupted, less engaged and generated feelings of being less productive over the course of the day. Most interestingly energy went back into trying to feel the calm and balance that comes with the routine that had been missed. They found this result from something as simple as a morning coffee ritual right through to the routines that involve waking up on time, exercise, breakfast regimes, or commuting to work patterns.

As I think about my own morning routines and the first conversation I have with myself, I’ve noticed a pattern. My morning routine has most definitely changed during the pandemic. And I have found that I shift between morning routines that involve exercise first thing to morning routines that involve myself telling myself I am too tired in the body and need a rest and that I have so much to do for work that perhaps this time would be better spent reading for work or catching up on administration. This battle and inner conversation with myself has at times had me set the alarm to exercise, try to pretend I’m still asleep so I can nod back off but in reality my mind is awake so I roll over, reach for the phone that is on charge (that also made its way back into the bedroom during the pandemic [sigh, and note to self change this]) and check my phone resulting in curve balls that inhibit feeling grounded and aligned to the intention that I had set the day before. So I kind of self-sabotage myself, fall into not so helpful patterns, beat myself up, and then reset. This cycle is draining in itself. And I’m not that keen for this shaming of myself to continue.

As I’ve been processing this and coaching myself to rethink the first conversation I have with myself in the morning I know one thing. I do not want the first conversation with myself in the morning to be processing and deconstructing a work problem, a passive aggressive email, someone else’s deadline that they have missed and transferred to me, others’ complaining on Twitter, or more trauma that is occurring in our world.

It is the work of Margarita Esau and colleagues in Germany that has sparked curiosity and inspired me to reconnect back with what I know energises me and sets me up for the day. Margarita and the team note that information retrieval in the morning will probably produce stress, especially the ones that are associated with work messages. They note that finding alternative approaches that are conducive to scaffold and support better morning routines is desirable. Most of us know this, we can struggle with this (hand up), but tweaking that desire to check the phone and various information platforms first thing or near first thing in the morning is (and often becomes for many of us) an invisible and unconscious action that inhabits. It is an action that impacts the first conversation we have with our self. It is an action that can wait, and we can benefit from a gentler to self move into the day.

Margarita and colleagues also remind us that if we have a fear of becoming passive and lazy for not checking information channels first thing in the morning (as a opposed to feeling as if we are being productive) this is something to interrupt, and indeed that we need to rethink. The rethinking especially comes with our beliefs about productivity and what this is, including our inclusion of productivity being acts for self. This includes self-reflection or self-care that comes with many actions, but especially with morning routines that are more centred and grounded.

So, what conversation are you going to have with yourself first thing in the morning? Is it going to one that is soothing, calming and helpful for you? Or is it one that is about others, a stress, worry or curve ball that has you chasing your zen for the remainder of the day?

As you explore your morning routines, remember some essential questions: What are the active moments you can take that help you begin the day calm and that set you up for the day? What does this conversation with yourself sound like? What morning routines are you going to put (back) in place to support a more healthy and energising you?

You may also like to explore some of tips to help you extend your thinking and action:

Follow up with colleagues work:

Morning Routines between Calm and Engaging: Designing a Smart Mirror

How disruptions to our morning routines harm daily productivity, and what we can do about it

Morning Routines: What’s the first conversation you are going to have with yourself each day?